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Unexpected

Smile

If we met today
I’d tell you it happened exactly how I hoped
That my heart is feral
Only unexpected love will find it out in the open
Even if it dashed into the brush
You’d still know it existed
I’d tell you there is no romance in calculated dating
That love does not reside in a list of qualities
Not a product summoned out of sheer will
I’d tell you love has nothing to do with tradition
Or etiquette
Love is a stubborn seed
Only sprouting unobserved
A defiant tree root
Tripping souls through the sidewalk

I’d tell you that I am lonesome
That it makes me wary of my intent
The absence of touch and companionship creates
A subtle despair
I’d tell you that I’m not always my own best company
That my insides have known brutal war
But now there is a fragile peace
That sometimes flakes at the edges
I’d tell you that I don’t believe people
Who say they are comfortable being alone
That’s not how we’re built
We’re better together
Hand in hand

I’d tell you sadness lurks behind my smile
That laughter is my medicine
The humor in the shadows is me playing in the dark
I’ve come to accept my skull’s contents
That the folds are painted with strokes
A black that will never fade
I’d tell you that love still prevails
That your smile is sunshine on my skin
I’d tell you I’m glad you breathe
My shoulders
Lighter when you speak

I’d tell you I’m scared
That I’ve wandered off the paved road
Beyond the manicured landscape
Into the wild
I’d tell you I don’t know if that was a good idea
That I’m not sure I can navigate
Like Monarchs or Starlings
I’d tell you I feel vulnerable
That my heart beats outside my chest
A ten year old son and words on a page
I’d tell you that following dreams is
A frightening act
That we’ve met at a very interesting time in my life

If we met today
If our eyes met with the same intensity
If our smiles were as eager
I would say,
“Hello.”

{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Terri Lee November 11, 2014, 1:54 pm

    I used to say I wasn’t very fond of contemporary poetry. That was before I stumbled over your words.

    • Cab November 11, 2014, 2:01 pm

      You want to know something ironic? Either am I. It’s just how the words come out sometimes. That’s how writing is for me. The words take a path of their own and I go along for the ride. It’s a love letter more than poetry. Thanks for stumbling. xo

  • Judy Ellis November 10, 2016, 7:35 am

    Cabot, this is pure beauty of soul and it is an honest expression that I diffenatly relate to. I hope that continue to explore . And I pray that your experiences are of hope , love and joy. You are beautiful Cabot. Love you like a son.

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